First-Time Voting in Pennsylvania

November 8, 2017 / Jennifer

So, yesterday was my first time voting in Pennsylvania. Those of you who have known me for a while know that I value my right – and my duty – to vote, and to be part of our democratic process.

In case some of you are curious about whether or not voting is different in PA than in CA, I did notice a few differences.

First, I registered to vote at PennDOT (PA equivalent of the DMV) when I got my new driver’s license. There were a few questions on the computer at the end of the process, and it was very easily done. Less than a week later, I received my confirmation postcard, which many of you saw me post on FB.

After that, I received… pretty much nothing. I became aware of the election from commercials on TV and friends on Facebook. A few well-placed private messages gained me some key links — where to verify my voting registration status, how to locate my polling place, etc. (Thanks, Allie Cat!) I took a screen shot of the address for my polling location, for easy access on Tuesday.

On Tuesday morning, I got up, dressed, and went downstairs. Even before having breakfast, Edmond suggested he take me over to vote (he apparently did NOT register to vote when he got his driver’s license – at least, the website could not find it. Paperwork has since been submitted). So, off we went.

My polling place was at a local government office. Keep in mind, now, that I now live in a rural area (population < 9,000). Unlike CA, PA is made up of cities, boroughs, townships, each respectively smaller than the other (here are some fun facts about cities, boroughs and townships, in case you’re curious). This impacts how the local government is management, and, I’m sure, voting district lines. At any rate, the polling location was easy to find, as we found ourselves following behind three other cars going to the same location (this rarely happens).

My first impression was the visual. All of the lawn signs with candidate names were plastered across the front of the building. I’ve always had the impression this was not allowed in CA, as I’ve never seen so many signs in one place. My polling locations have always been void of any propaganda, the only markers signifying that it was a polling location being red, white, and blue bunting or American flags outside of the entrance.In this case, the signs overlapped each other and carried all the way across the building.

(This, of course, is where there should be a full color photo of the polling location with all of the signs. It didn’t occur to me at the time to take a photo.)

As I walked into the foyer, I was greeted and asked if I wanted a Sample Ballot. Yes, I did! I had not received one in the mail, and wanted to review my options. Now, here’s where there’s a big difference. In CA, a “Sample Ballot” is provided to every voter. It includes every measure, election, etc., and a brief summary of either the issue or the person’s qualifications.The sample ballot handed to me was on a half-sheet of colored paper, and it consisted of a table with the issue/position, and the expected vote.

I then learned that this was the Republican ballot. As I am registered “No Political Affiliation,” I asked for both. The lady on the opposite side of the foyer (6 feet away) had the Democratic sample ballot. Both ladies were able to tell me who and what the “party” was supposed to vote for, and why.

This was helpful to me, as a first time voter who had not been receiving information. But again, this is one of the big differences. In CA, this would not have happened – at least, not in any of the voting experiences I have ever had. By the time you reach the polling location in CA, you are expected to have all of the information you need, and no further influence is allowed. I have always valued that, as I have always received my information and been well-prepared to vote. As there was not a long line, this seemed to work. There was a door separating these women from the people who were inside, voting.

I went inside, now armed with the information I needed. Since I live in a borough, the polling location served more than one voting district, and so I first had to identify which side of the room I should be in. There was a map, with district lines drawn. Blooming Glen III for me, right side of the room. Voter check-in is much the same – same books, found my name, show ID (as a first time voter in PA, there was a flag next to my name indicating that I needed to show my ID), sign my name. No ballot was handed to me. This was new. I’ve always had a ballot handed to me, which I then take to a tall table with curtains for privacy. There, I either punch (remember chads?), or draw arrows, or do whatever is needed to indicate my vote. When done, I take my completed ballot back up to the table and insert it into a machine, which reads and tabulates the vote.

Here, the voting process was more computerized. Being dependent upon technology is always an “iffy” thing, and sure enough, out of the two booths that were set up for Blooming Glen III voting district side, only one was functioning. So, a little bit of a line. This was good, as I needed to be educated, and said so. There was a ballot taped to the wall. The monitor explained to me that when I went into the booth, the ballot would be on a screen with a light behind it. Each of the voting options would be indicated, and to vote, I just press the smaller box next to the person/option that I would vote for. The selected choice would then show a red light. At the end, press the large green VOTE button to submit.

Then it was my turn. I walked into the large voting booth – much larger than the tiny stands I was accustomed to in CA – and closed the curtains. The monitor pressed a switch (or something) on the side, and the ballot lit up. The ballot was about as simple as it could get – issue or position name at the left, Democrat candidates in the second column, Republican candidates in the third column, and Green Party in the far right column. There was even an option to press a single button to vote the entire party line, which would immediately light up every option under the party column. I read the options, pressed the boxes, verified the little red lights, and pressed the VOTE button. No pencils or pens required, no staying within lines, no hanging chads. It was nice and easy.

As I walked out, I received my “I voted” sticker. It was easily 6 times as large as the teeny sticker I always got in CA. I guess when there are only a few thousand voters, the district can splurge a little.

My overall impressions? Both Surprised and Impressed

Surprise – at the amount of last minute influence that is allowed. It was helpful to me in this situation, so I can’t say it was all bad, but I had relatively small issues to vote for. I can see how pressure could be applied to larger crowds where lines are long, and issues are more critical. I prefer the stark, pressure-free environment.

Impressed – by the technology. Although I prefer the more informative layout of a California ballot, the technology made it easy to select my votes and submit. I’ve always thought California could do better, from a technology standpoint. Then again, I’ve always been in more heavily populated areas, which may influence the choice of technology.

I did ask about whether information was typically sent out, and was assured that LOTS of information was sent out. In hindsight, I was asking party representatives, and I am registered No Affiliation. So, it seems I need to do some more digging into what is sent to those who are not affiliated with a specific party. It seems this group may be overlooked.

Expectations

March 10, 2017 / Jennifer

A while ago, I drove through McDonald’s and ordered a large, unsweetened iced tea. As I drove away, I took a sip and immediately made a face. “Ugh! This is SWEET tea!” Not what I wanted, and not what I expected. I don’t have anything against sweet tea, I’m just not fond of sweet tea. So, I didn’t drink it. I just went back, let them know they got the order wrong, and got a new cup of unsweetened iced tea.

Sometimes, we don’t get what we want, or what we expect. That part may be out of our control. Once that happens, though, we are in complete control of what we do next.

Suppose that I made some orange juice, but when I looked for a container to store it in, all I could find were milk containers. So, I put the orange juice in the milk container.

Wait a minute — how do I know it’s a milk container? Was it a gallon jug that has “MILK” written on it? Was it a 1/2 gallon carton that says “MILK?” Or is it just that I make an assumption based on what I usually experience? If the container is transparent, I should be able to see what’s inside, and I’ll know what to expect. But if it’s opaque, what’s inside won’t be immediately obvious.

So, let’s say that the container is opaque, it’s what I usually put milk in, and I put orange juice in it.

Now Joe comes home. He loves orange juice. He also likes milk. And he’s thirsty. So, he opens the fridge, reaches in and grabs the container, opens the top, and takes a big swallow. He’s likely to make a face. Why? Well, he expected milk, but he got orange juice. He might momentarily look up at me at say, incredulously, “What the hell? This is orange juice! It’s supposed to be milk!”

At this point, he’s got some choices.

He can throw the container against the wall, swearing at me for putting orange juice in a milk container.

He can create a special area in the fridge for “queer milk” so that he never has to make that mistake again.

He can take a breath, and change his expectations, given the new information that he has in his hands. Now that he is aware that the contents of the container, he can decide that he’d like some more orange juice, or he can put it back into the fridge and look for something else, like the milk he expected in the first place.

He can stand there, demanding that the contents of the container magically become milk, to match his expectations of the container.

What can we learn from this?

Violence is never the answer. Swearing at me and throwing the container against the wall would waste some perfectly good orange juice and probably start a fight. And we all know that we shouldn’t cry over spilled… well, orange juice. In all fairness, it wasn’t the orange juice’s fault.

Designating a special area in the fridge? A waste of space if we rarely encounter “queer milk.” We may want to put some white wine in that spot at some point. It makes much more sense to allow queer milk to mingle equally with everything else in the fridge. Besides, There are some things that Joe could do to avoid confusion and become more comfortable when he encounters unexpected orange juice filled milk containers in his life.

For example, – maybe Joe shouldn’t drink directly from the container. If Joe had taken a few seconds to look into the container, he would have seen that the contents were orange, and not white. Had he poured some of the contents into a glass, he would have immediately seen that he had orange juice, and not milk. He then could have decided to drink the orange juice, or pour it back and choose something else.

In this case, he already tasted the orange juice. Once he realized it was orange juice, maybe he realized it was really good orange juice. That can really help get over the discomfort caused by the unmet expectation. If it was bad orange juice, he could just put it away and pick something else. So, maybe we should all get to know what’s in our glass before we take a sip.

Labels can be deceiving. If the container had a permanent “MILK” label on it, it can still be used to hold orange juice. We should always double check before making an assumption.

Communication is important. When Joe went to the fridge to get a drink, I could have said, “hey, by the way, I put orange juice in the milk container. So, don’t expect milk.” That would have set his expectations and helped him make an informed choice.

Finally — and this one is really important — Getting upset about the fact that orange juice is in a container you expected milk to be in doesn’t mean that the orange juice will change to meet your expectations. It’s still going to be orange juice. Sure, you can go through the rest of your life calling orange juice in milk containers “milk,” but you’re really only fooling yourself. You can only control your next choice. And really, who cares which shelf I put it on in the fridge? It’s still got to get cold.

Why March?

January 23, 2017 / Jennifer / Leave a comment

I’ve seen a lot of people asking questions about the Women’s March on Washington, on Los Angeles, and on cities all over the world, including Antarctica. Most of the questions are about the purpose of the march that took place on January 21st, 2017, just one day after the inauguration of President Donald Trump. Perhaps some of the confusion comes from people looking for one single message, or one single cause. If so, they’re search is much too narrow — there were many issues that were represented at the march. What started as a “Women’s March” became so much more.

FYI — I do not expect to get all of these right, and fully complete. So please, if any one of these issues is one you feel passionately about, I invite you to comment and provide more information (either side of the issue, provided you are debating and providing facts, not calling people names and linking clear misinformation). Alternative Facts will not be tolerated here.

Why did we march? Why was it a day after the Inauguration? Was it really about Donald Trump?

Yes, a large part of it was about Donald Trump. But it goes deeper than that. It’s about the rhetoric and agenda of the Republican congress as well. Yesterday was Day 1 of the new administration. What better day to let the new administration know that people are paying attention to what is going on, and what issues are important to us?

But nothing has happened yet. Why not give him a chance?

It isn’t about what HAS happened. It is about what has been promised, what has been suggested, and what is starting to happen.

If you were able to attend, you witnessed first-hand the myriad of issues that were addressed and important to all of the people in attendance. For those who weren’t able to attend, here are some of the issues:

Planned Parenthood – The Republican Congress has been trying to defund PP for years, giving the reason that they provide abortions, which they don’t want to pay for. The fact is that about 3% of Planned Parenthoods services are for abortion, and none of those services are paid for by Federal Funds, as it is already illegal. Defunding PP would leave women in poverty stricken neighborhoods with no critical care, as PP is often the only provider in the area that they have access to.

Women’s Right to Choose — This is an ongoing battle, and is certainly not a new issue. Mike Pence has promised to overturn Roe v Wade, with the expectation that they will be able to appoint new, more conservative judges to the Supreme Court. Women’s Rights includes the right for women to choose whether or not they want to have a baby. Let’s not get into the more difficult late-term abortion discussion here. This issue alone is quite sensitive, and can become the topic of a completely separate thread. There were many who noted that Pro-Life groups were not included.

My take on the exclusion of Pro-Life groups: The goal for the March was to focus on Women’s Rights (and ergo “Human Rights”). While I completely get that the Pro-Life movement believes that Human Rights includes the rights of the unborn, there was also an overall goal of a peaceful march. Pro-Life, or specifically, Anti-Abortion, is a very volatile issue, which would likely have resulted in a great deal of ugliness. The two groups are simply not compatible, as the Pro-Life movement’s primary goal ultimately requires control over what a woman does with her body. This is counter to what are uniquely considered “Women’s Rights.”

Black Lives Matter — they do. Yes, all lives matter, but if the Black Community experienced what the white community experiences, there wouldn’t be a need to talk about it. If you have a problem with the phrase, just add “, too” to the phrase. Maybe that will help. This issue focuses, in great part, on the fact that young black men are being shot and killed by police across the country in contrast with similar encounters with young white men that do not turn violent. It’s a problem; it needs to stop.

MATA Thinking – there were a lot of “Make America Think Again” signs. Personally, I loved these. Kelly Ann Conway’s assertion this morning that Spicer, the White House Press Secretary simply presented “alternative facts,” underscores the need for Americans to stop every day and consider the information being presented to them. It’s frightening. Trump insists that his Inauguration was the “most attended in Presidential History,” when photographs and other facts easily prove otherwise. In case you’re not sure, “alternative facts” are lies.

Muslims — Trump ran a very anti-Muslim campaign. Muslims are less safe around the country than they were before his campaign started.

Immigration — Trump ran a very anti-Immigration campaign. Immigrants are less safe around the country than they were before his campaign.

Healthcare — Most people are not against changing the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare). They are concerned that the ACA will be repealed without being replaced, leaving a gap in coverage, which could easily result in loss of life for many people. We are reasonable — feel free to replace the ACA with something that will work better and be more affordable, but it needs to be available for all Americans. Congress recently took a “check” vote that indicated that most Republicans are comfortable with repealing the ACA and replacing it “later.” This would leave that gap in coverage that I am talking about. That would be irresponsible and disastrous.

Water – there was a group representing the Dakota Pipeline demonstrators. This is not something that was started by Trump, but he is now inheriting the issue. and his business friends are on the side of the pipeline, not Native American rights, land rights, or protecting the environment.

The Environment – hours after the inauguration, the government website on Climate Change was taken down. It is not an issue they plan to address. This goes along with the “Thinking” issue. Science and Facts are no longer relevant to this administration. Instead, the more convenient “Alternative Facts” that support the administration’s agenda are preferred. Trump intends to increase our coal production, and disregard the science behind Climate Change, which could have serious ramifications for the world we leave to our children. (Trump is on record saying that Climate Change is a hoax perpetuated by the Chinese.)

Education – Trump’s choice for Secretary of Education has no background in Public Education whatsoever. Her primary qualification is that she is wealthy. I encourage you to look for the video of her hearing. She was really good at deflecting and not answering questions. Her response to many of the questions was “I think that is better left to the states.” That should make her job really easy – no National standards, and let the states worry about their own quality.

Russia – Lots of information lately about this. I saw several signs reading “I can see Russia from here,” or “I can see Russia from the White House.”

Sexual Assault – Anyone who has been paying attention to the campaign should know about Trump’s language, claims, and the accusations against him. A lot of people have indicated that they just don’t care, or that it doesn’t bother them. This issue is related to the hats worn by so many women in the crowd (most pink, mine was purple). See the pussyhatproject.com for more information on the hats. Add to this the recent sentences handed down to convicted rapists — months, 3 months, etc. A recent Police Commander in New York asserted that “date rape is not as bad a rape by a stranger.” A judge in a recent rape case asked a woman why she didn’t “just keep her legs closed.”

LGBTQ – American hase voted in a Vice President who believes in “conversion therapy.” This is a community that is always at risk, from simply walking down the street safely to which bathroom they may use.

Bullying – Trump’s dialog is classic bully talk. I grew up with it. Name calling, inciting others to go against each other, lying. His behavior has “normalized” bullying, essentially “making it okay.” It’s not.

Trump, himself — he needs to be held accountable or what he says, because what he says is also what he does. He’s being held accountable for “grabbing women by the pussy,” for “bad hombres” and “nasty women.” He’s being held accountable for his obsession with tweeting, his need for constant attention, and the fact that he seems to think that he is now “king,” his kids are “princes and princesses,” and that Congress is his “court.” He doesn’t seem to understand how the government works, the content of the Constitution, or the fact that he works for us now. He refused Intelligence briefings, has stated he doesn’t need them because he’s so damn smart, and has worked hard on discrediting and shutting down media. Many of us see in his behavior signs of dictatorship. The spread of misinformation, the attempt to control media messages so they are only positive about him are classic moves. These are things that you nip in the bud early – you don’t wait until our First Amendment has essentially disappeared. Because next to go will be our personal freedoms. Yes, it’s all in the Constitution, but our rights have to be enforced to make them meaningful.

Trump Hotel The photo at the left was taken at Trump International Hotel. As approached, the crowd began to boo, indicating disapproval of Trump’s refusal to divest himself from his businesses, making it possible for him to profit from his position as President. Many Americans believe this creates quite a conflict of interest. You can also see they are gesturing their disapproval.

Not Just Women – I’d like to point out that there were a lot of men out there supporting women’s issues. Unless all men recognize the issues that women uniquely face, we’ll never move be able to get them resolved.

That’s what I’ve got for now. Please comment, and add anything I may have missed.

I’ll add more photos to the bottom of this post, but before I go, here is my favorite sign of the day. It really resonated with me, because I’m not really someone who usually gets politically involved. I’ve voted on both sides of the ticket throughout my life, depending upon who was running, and what issues were prevalent during that time,and how I felt. I have always believed in casting an educated vote, so I take the time to watch debates, read both sides of the issues, and talk to a lot of people about their opinions. But this time, it was something I felt very strongly about, and clearly a lot of people across the world did as well. If people in Antarctica thought it was important enough, then really, everyone should take a look around and consider what’s important, not only to them, but the people they love, and the people who are in the community in which they live.

Okay — Favorite Sign:

My Favorite

And the rest of the photos:

We're with you — The sign says, “We’re With You!”

Reasons to March 2 — Planned Parenthood; Message to Girls

Another Favorite — Fiction Becomes Reality

An Open Letter to… Well, Just About Everyone

October 8, 2016 / Jennifer / Leave a comment

Trump is in the news again. That’s not surprising, as he’s running for President and has a penchant for making outrageous comments that end up creating great divides between people across the country.

** Warning – this video contains vulgarity **

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wM248Wo54U

In this case, the video is more than ten years old, and contains a conversation that took place off camera with Billy Bush, as they were on their way to some sort of filming. There is much to be offended by in this video, which is certainly being leveraged to damage Donald Trump’s run for President. What I see and hear in the video are two men talking vulgarly about a woman that Trump attempted to seduce, unsuccessfully. Donald is heard bragging about what his celebrity “allows” him to get away with. Billy Bush seems to be enjoying the conversation, as he is encouraging and, in fact, cheering Donald on. Once they exit the bus, Donald puts on his “professional” persona while Billy Bush takes on the role of “wing man,” suggesting that the woman in the video give hugs to Donald, and then himself, and continues to make sexually charged comments as they walk down the hall.

Because Billy is not running for President, his behavior is not in question by the media. In general, the media has wholeheartedly condemned Trump’s comments, while many Trump supporters have come out in defense of Trump to condemn the release of a private conversation, and others have dismissed the comments as “standard locker room talk.” I have seen some comments suggesting that most men engage in this type of banter.

Ken 1 This is what I want to talk about.

This is my “open letter” to just about everyone. Originally, I was going to write this to women, and then I realized that I was leaving out a critical part of the conversation. The subject is not Donald Trump and whether or not he should become President after making these comments. The subject is “Rape Culture and Why It Exists.”

I hope you shuddered and felt really uncomfortable when you read that. Rape is a terrible word. Over the years its impact has been diminished by slang phrases that made the term more commonplace. In my opinion, the word “rape” should have the same impact as the word “fuck.” It should be used rarely, and make people sit up and pay attention when they hear it.

Rape is a violent crime. It’s not just sex. A rapist violates his/her victim in the most intimate of ways, leaving them exposed and vulnerable. We are taught that rape has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with power and violence. And yet, the average sentence for a rapist is just under 10 years, and most serve just under 5.5 years (Bureau of Justice Statistics). We have all read recently about the case of Brock Turner, who, after being convicted of three counts of sexual assault, was sentenced to six months in prison and served only three. Even after his conviction, media sources continued to refer to him as the “Stanford swimmer,” as though his athleticism was more important than the crime he committed.

With modern technology, we are bombarded with messages via television, radio, and social media. What this media seems to be telling us is that women need to take steps to prevent rape. We need to dress modestly to avoid being seen as sexual objects. We need to make sure that we remain indoors in a safe environment when it is dark out, and not walk around alone outside. We need to make sure that we say “NO” in a very clear manner that is understood, and even then, we are not trusted to actually mean it. We should be very careful what we drink, in case someone has put a date rape drug in it. One judge in Canada even asked the rape victim why she couldn’t just keep her knees together.”

Let’s be clear. Rape is never the victim’s fault. It is always the perpetrator’s fault. And while it is smart to take steps to avoid being a victim, each and every one of us should be offended that there is even a need. Women do not have the same freedoms as men. We must constantly be on the lookout to ensure that we are safe. We may have a woman running for the highest office in the land, but we will never achieve true equality until we can walk in the same spaces as men and feel every bit as safe as they do.

So here’s the deal. When you hear Donald Trump and Billy Bush bantering and laughing about their sexual conquests, scoring, and being allowed to grab women anywhere, you cannot dismiss it as “standard locker room talk.” If you do, you’re suggesting that it is okay. You are suggesting it is okay to treat women as though they are objects, to be used and thrown away. You are suggesting that it is normal and acceptable behavior to speak of women in a disrespectful manner. All of this adds to the problem. When it is normal and okay to talk that way, it becomes normal and okay to view women that way. Then, it becomes the woman’s fault for “looking hot,” and responding to someone who seems to be treating her well, until he’s not treating her well anymore, and ends up taking what he wants and throwing her away.

Richard 2

When you hear your friends talking this way, do you stop them? Or do you laugh and join in?

Mitchell

If you have a brother, a sister, mother, father, son, daughter, friend – anyone – who tweets or posts or speaks to defend this behavior as “standard locker room talk,” or suggests that “there is no man who hasn’t said or done the same,” I urge you to sit that person down and have a talk. Tell them it isn’t okay. Tell them they are contributing, however subtly, to rape culture. Tell them that things need to change, and that they need to help lead that change in their own lives, by influencing their friends, and their families, and maybe even themselves. When it becomes “not okay” to speak of and treat women as objects, then perhaps we’ll all feel more horrified when women are treated poorly, or attacked, or raped. And maybe we’ll actually consider punishing those who attack them more than we punish those who possess drugs (in Kentucky, a first offender for drug possession can be sentenced to 2 to 10 years and fined $20K).

The video, below, features Steve Connell, who shares “Violence against women needs to end where it begins… at the hands, in the hearts and in the minds of men.”

https://youtu.be/PscD6h1iNiI

We have to change this together. It shouldn’t be up to the women to prevent their own rape. It should be up to a society who values women, cherishes women, and respects women, to collectively ensure our safety. Walking about freely should be a given, not a privilege afforded only to the big, strong, and armed.

Poet and justice advocate FreeQuency says it all quite well in her poem, “I’m Sorry.” In it, she quotes several members of Congress who have, in the past, spoken lightly about rape.

I implore each and every one of you to do your part to make this world a better place, a safer place, for women and children. We’re all on this earth together.

Arming the Playground

November 15, 2015 / Jennifer / Leave a comment

When my children were small and one of them hit the other with a stick, not once did it occur to me that “if only I had given the other child a stick, this would never have happened.”

I’m sure that would have worked. I could have armed both of my children, and they would never have hit each other with sticks. Maybe. Or, they might have beat each other senseless, maimed, or killed one another.

Let’s assume that would work as a deterrent. What kind of children would I have raised, then? I would have raised children who felt that it was necessary to carry a stick and be prepared to defend themselves against the inevitable attack from their brother, cousin, friend, stranger. I would have raised children who walked around with a heart full of distrust, ready to use those sticks when needed. I might even have raised children who could figure out that if the other child had a stick, then all they had to do was make sure they got a bigger stick, or even a slingshot with a big rock, and then they could win.

So, I suppose then that only the bad kids will carry sticks. That’s right. That’s why they’re the bad kids. Why should my kids become like the bad kids? Wouldn’t it be better to try to help the bad kids become good ones?

Committing violence of any kind takes a toll on a person. Being prepared to commit violence — even in self defense, has an impact, however small it may be. Yes, my children took self-defense classes, and walked with greater confidence. Those classes did not teach them how to take someone’s life.

What I did instead was to try my best to teach my children that life is precious, and that violence is not the answer. I taught them empathy, so that if they hit someone, they would understand the pain it caused. I taught them to communicate and talk to each other about their problems. I taught them problem-solving and compromise, and encouraged them to work things out. I showed them love, and did what I could to help them feel loved and to love each other.

Remember all those bad kids carrying sticks? What if we made more of an effort to figure out why they felt the need to carry sticks and hurt people with them? What if we helped them get what they needed? Not all kids carrying sticks are trying to get millions of dollars in lunch money. Some of them need lunch, because they missed breakfast and last night’s dinner. Some are looking for attention, because they aren’t getting the love and affection they need at home.

None of this means that I didn’t take the stick away and put the perpetrator on time out, too! But that’s not enough. If you don’t fix the initial problem, then the situation will repeat itself. I had to help my kids learn the tools they needed to choose a different interaction.

Arming the playground isn’t the answer. It only helps the kids build bigger walls and seek bigger sticks.

When it Comes to Abortion – What Should We, as a Society, Expect?

August 5, 2015 / Jennifer / Leave a comment

I saw this on Facebook today…

And it made me wonder — How can we, as Americans, expect to decrease or end the instances of abortion if we refuse to provide women’s health services to begin with?

We, as a society, refuse to educate all women and men on the functionality of their own reproductive systems. Parents can opt their children out of sex education classes because they don’t want them to hear certain messages that may go against their own personal or religious values. As a result, sex education tends to be inconsistent at best, whether it’s watered down at the school level in the hope of satisfying all parents, or because parents are not providing or supplementing enough information at home because it’s an embarrassing subject or out of fear that by providing the information children will become sexually active.

We, as a society, fight against healthcare being a basic human right. It took an act of the Supreme Court to get the Affordable Care Act approved to ensure that all Americans have access to healthcare. And still, people and corporations are fighting against providing services, such as birth control. Women should have the right to decide whether or not birth control is an appropriate option for themselves based on their own personal and religious values.

We, as a society, become outraged at women who have children and are also on welfare.

We, as a society, shame our young women (yet not our men) for becoming pregnant out of wedlock. While this is not as great a stigma as it used to be, it is still enough of a stigma to ensure that many women would rather seek an abortion than confess to their Daddies that they are pregnant.

We, as a society, tell young women that having a child out of wedlock will ruin their lives, thus ensuring a no-win situation that impacts two generations or more.

We, as a society, would rather rescue pets than rescue children. I’m a dog person, and I love my pets, but what if we put as many photos of abandoned and adoptable children on the news, on Facebook, on billboards as we do dogs? What if we played a sad song while showing lonely children needing a home? Add to that the battle against allowing white parents to raise black children, or gay couples to adopt at all, we don’t go far enough to make sure that all children are loved and ready to love in return.

We, as a society, don’t value the lives of black men, white men, brown men, police officers, drug addicts, people in prison, enough to keep them from dying at each other’s hands. In fact, we don’t value the lives of children who have already been born enough to ensure that they are safe going to school, in their own homes, or at movie theaters. How can we possibly expect people to value the lives of people who haven’t been born yet?

We, as a society, refuse to ensure that once a child has been born it has enough to eat, clothing, a roof over its head, and a quality education. Suggest it, and you’ll hear screams about Socialism, Communism, Fascism, and probably even a reference or two to Hitler.

We, as a society, vote for politicians who think that all we need to do is “work more hours” to afford to feed and shelter our families.

Until and unless we, as a society, address the reasons that women seek to have abortions, nothing will change.

Until and unless we, as a society, value “life after birth”, nothing will change.

Bristol Palin is Pregnant

June 27, 2015 / Jennifer / Leave a comment

Bristol Palin has reportedly earned more than $260,000 while serving as an Abstinence Ambassador. She’s unmarried, and just announced that she’s pregnant.

Palin-Inigo

While this is certainly hypocritical, what I find the most sad is that she has announced her pregnancy with shame. She knows her family will be disappointed.

Announcing a pregnancy should be one of the happiest events in a woman’s life. Regardless of whether or not she is married; regardless of whether or not she was supposed to practice what she preached, I sincerely hope that her family opens their arms to her and prepares for the coming of this child with joy.

SCOTUS Legalizes Same-Sex Marriage

June 26, 2015 / Jennifer / Leave a comment

Today is an historic day. Make sure you write it down, as it will be referred to as a precedent-setting day. June 26, 2015: The Supreme Court Legalizes Same-Sex Marriage. (Supreme Court Response document here)

My day started with a series of notifications on my iPhone from CNN. The first alerted me that the Supreme Court had made a decision. The second informed me that the Supreme Court had legalized same-sex marriage. I knew it would be an interesting day. I was not disappointed.

My Facebook feed is filled with responses to “The Decision.” I have friends from a variety of walks of life, and so all of the responses are not alike. Many cheer for the battle won. Some cheer because the decision impacts them directly. Others cheer because they believe, like me, that the decision is right, and a long time coming. Still others, not so much. There are those who object, mostly on the basis of their religious values. And I can see that those people are gathering together to commiserate their perceived loss of religious freedom.

SCOTUS clip same sex marriage — From the Supreme Court decision, regarding religious freedom

I believe there is a lot of confusion around Individual Rights, Religious Freedom, and Government, or “the State.” The United States is NOT a Theocracy. We are NOT governed by any religion. Iran is a Theocracy, and I know I wouldn’t want to live there. I love my country, and I believe in my God. But I do not believe that I should legislate according to my own religious values when they are not shared by 100% of the people who will be governed. But, let’s take a look at this, anyway.

This ruling does nothing to change anyone’s religious freedom. We have always had the freedom to be around people who believe differently than we do, and who behave differently than we do. That will not change. A person’s right to frown on someone else because they are not like them, because they don’t understand “them,” because they think they are better than “them,” because their religion says they will go to hell, will not change.

This ruling does not mean that priests will have to conduct religious wedding ceremonies. It means that same sex couples can be married. The State is required to license the wedding. There are plenty of people who will be happy to perform a secular wedding. A religious ceremony is not required for the marriage to be considered valid.

However, if a same-sex couple does want to have a religious wedding, it seems they may have options. The Public Religion Research Institute recently used data from its American Values Atlas to determine where America’s major religious groups stand on the issue. Members of some of the mainstream religious may be surprised to find how many of their members support marriage equality.

As a person in an “opposite-sex” marriage, this ruling has almost no impact on me, except that I can now be happy for my same-sex couple friends who choose to get married, and I can help support their marriage as the decent human being that I am. Regardless of what the Jensens think, or what Rick Scarborough believes, there will be zero impact to my religious values, and zero impact to my marital status. Both of those are privately held, and unchanged.

As for my same-sex couple friends, they can now have all the rights that I have. The right to have their relationship acknowledged as a normal, permanent, loving relationship. The right to be acknowledged as a family member, the right to be acknowledged as the parent of an adopted child. I, for one, am ready to bake a cake!

So congratulations to same-sex couples! This is one giant step, but there are more to go. As a woman, I stand by you in your fight against discrimination, and to be valued for who you are.

To the dissenters — this isn’t about you. No, really, it isn’t.

Please Don’t Thank Me for Your Life

May 8, 2015 / Jennifer / Leave a comment

My child THANKED me. For not aborting him.

I know he was making light of the commercial he had just seen on TV, and I initially responded in kind. But then, the more I thought about it, the angrier I got. This is something that is difficult to put into words, but I am determined to try.

My children did not ask to be born. While I suppose there could have been a conversation between their cherubic forms and God, I was unaware. But they were wanted. I wanted them. Their father wanted them. So much so that we both underwent a total of four and a half years of medical treatments by some rather expensive specialists. We asked… No, we begged and prayed for them.

As a child born with hip dysplasia and a few additional complications, doctors told my parents they were uncertain whether I would ever be able to carry a child to term. In the spirit of “never give up,” my first child was born on his due date. My second, the day after his due date. No C-Section required.

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Up the Downs Staircase

Category: Politics